I Stand In Awe

Sometimes, life is full of open and honest clarity. Other times, it's not. To be perfectly honest, my life has been extremely full of ups and downs. Going to Peru was, hands down, the best experience of my life. The ministry days were incredible -- getting to wield a sledgehammer and render a pile of rocks into powder was so rewarding -- and even the long, hot drama days carried a sense of fulfillment. But to be honest, the part that struck my heart the most was getting to perform the Lifehouse Everything Skit for the 500+ teens and adults, along with five other teenagers. Why? Because it was me that I was playing. Let me explain.

I was the girl. That was me in that torn and tattered black shirt, pursuing the things of this world to fill that empty space within my heart. That was me, relying on a boy's "love" to keep me satisfied. And that was me, coming to the end of my rope, standing in my tattered rags of sin, blood dripping down my arm with a gun to my head. And then, I broke. I had no where else to run but into the waiting arms of my SAVIOR. It wasn't easy. I tried to fight. But I couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough. I fell to my knees. And then, He fought FOR me! Wow! Profound doesn't even begin to describe the feelings that flooded through me as I stood on that stage, tears streaming down my cheeks as I danced with Glenn (portraying Jesus). It was AWESOME!

Coming home was not easy. Having to leave all of those people -- my family -- behind was the hardest thing I have ever done. And I came home to a war. It was hard. People fell. I was wounded by what they did and said to me. I broke. And God caught me. Again. He always does!

This is now. This is my reality. Facing a great deal of stress and confusion with my life plan with little or nothing to go on. In two years, I could very well be married to the man of my dreams. I'm starting my Senior year of high school in five short days. I'm thinking ahead to college and other plans. Wow! My life sure has changed since I was a Freshman. It seems so strange to think that when I began my high school career, I made the two biggest mistakes of my life: breaking up with Jon and going out with he-who-shall-not-be-named. And now, as I end my high school years, I am back where I need to be -- in the center of God's will. Wow!

You are beautiful beyond description,

Too marvelous for words.

Too wonderful for comprehension,

Like nothing ever seen or heard.

Who can grasp such infinate wisdom?

Who can fathom the depth of Your love?

You are beautiful beyond description --

Majesty enthroned above.

And I stand, I stand in awe of You!

I stand, I stand in awe of You!

Holy God, to Whom all praise is due,

I stand in awe of You!

~ I Stand In Awe, Jamie Jamgochian