When God Made You

Once again, I've been lax in my writing. I suppose you could say that I've been a bit uninspired over the past couple of weeks. I've had a lot on my mind, but not a lot that can really been expressed in words. I've had to work through a lot of pain and emotional stress, and it hasn't been the best experience of my life. However, how can a statue hope to become more beautiful without chipping and polishing?

This newest phase in my life has been one of the most challanging things that I've ever attempted. I've always dreamed of meeting my knight in shining armor, falling madly in love, leaping onto the back of his white stallion, and riding away into the sunset to live happily ever after. Yes, I know that not even fairy tales come true all the time. Every girl dreams of her fairy-tale romance, and most of the time, its a strange kind of magic that is completely unlike anything they ever could have imagined.

To be honest, I never thought that it would be this hard, this complicated, this wonderfully tragic and confusing at the same time. But you know what? God has blessed me in more ways than I ever thought possible. God has taken me and pruned away my imperfections. Yes, I will admit that I feel extreme inadequate at times. Am I prepared to be a wife? A mother? The manager of my own home? The caretaker of my husband, and one day, my children? I want whatever He wants for me. And I know this: it will be hard, but it will be worth it!

There is something special about Jon that I can't quite understand. There are times when I think I have him completely figured out, and then. . .he goes and shows me how well he can play chess! He throws me for a loop. He inspires me with ideas that I had never even imagined! And to be honest, sometimes, it scares me. (Note: Jon caught the error! lol So, I had to change it! =]]]) It scares me that one day, if God wills, I will be his wife. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that a man like him would love a girl like me. In all of my imperfections, he still cares for me with such adoration and tenderness that I brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it!

Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice is a story of love and hatred. Of pride and humility. Of shadows and light. Of two people. . .well, I suppose you could say four people. . .who find love in the strangest of opposites. Between Bingley and Jane, it is unchartered territory. It's sweet, romantic, loving tenderness. It's a gentle walk in the woods, a moonlit stroll. It's new, sweet, and mysterious. While they are easily swayed by the opinions of others, they find that they cannot live without one another. With Darcy and Lizzie, there is a challange between them. They ignite a spark within one another -- challange one another's minds and hearts in ways that they never thought possible. Their relationship sways from hatred to love and back again more times than a pendulum swings in an hour. And yet, in the end, he loves her. He kisses her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, and her lips. He calls her "Mrs. Darcy." He loves her with a fire-high passion.

I find both of these classic loves within my own love story. This is new for both of us. It's a sweet and tender romance. . .in which we both challange and confuse one another beyond the edge of reason. He changes my chess strategy, and yet, he says I think too much. What a mystery! A beautiful mystery that only God can understand. And yet, maybe I am beginning to understand, too. .

Oh, I wonder what God was thinkin'
When He created you.
I wonder if he knew everything I would need
Because he made all my dreams come true.
When God made you,
He must have been thinking about me.
~When God Made You, Newsong