Everything

Pain hurts.

Okay, so while you might see that as a "no, duh!" statement, it really is a lot deeper than that. Life tends to dish out certain things that you really wish that it would keep to itself. Yes, we are commanded to "count it all joy." But you know? It's hard. Really hard.

Honestly, I want stuff to be different. I want to not have stormed at my dad yesterday. I want to have not been in a crappy mood so that I missed my footing and fell on the stairs. I want to have not hit my foot so hard that it turned purple in a matter of minutes. I want to get those moments back.

Yes, I am a lit geek. I will admit it. However, this funky quirk of mine can be exceptionally helpful in instances such as these. The words of C.S. Lewis seem to fall in good right about now. In Prince Caspian, the four children have fallen into more trouble than they ever imagined. Soldiers keeping them at bay, failed battles, and danger surrounding their every turn. In one particular moment of hopelessness, Aslan (the great Lion and King from across the sea) is talking to the most faithful of the four, fourteen-year-old Lucy. Lucy, in all her innocence, asks Aslan what would have happened if she and her fellow kings and queens would have chosen a different battle plan. In all of His wisdom, Aslan replies: "No one is ever told what would have happened. But what will happen? That is a completely different matter!"

Every aspect of my life has a plan! Sometimes, I question why I was adopted. It seems hard to understand sometimes. However, if I hadn't been adopted, I wouldn't be living here! I wouldn't have gone on any of my missions trips. I wouldn't be going to the best private school in the world! I wouldn't be spending hours fine-tuning my writing skills under the best instructors that I have ever been honored to study under! I probably wouldn't be a Christian. And I wouldn't know the most incredible man in the entire universe -- I wouldn't have met my soulmate! (Or his spectacular family either!) Jon has taught me so much about faith, about love, about honoring God. We have both made mistakes. But all I can say is that it takes a fall to make you realize how much you enjoy standing on the solid ground. <3

God has blessed me more than I ever imagined possible. It just takes me a while to realize it, sometimes! Lord, help my unbelief!

How can I stand here with You,

And not be moved by You?

Can You tell me --

How could it be

Any better than this, Lord?

You're all I want.

You're all I need.

You're EVERYTHING,

EVERYTHING!

~Everything, Lifehouse